THE ROLE OF PARENTS IN PARENTING FROM ISLAMIC LAW PERSPECTIVES: Study of Muslim Families in Ambang II Village

: This study aimed to analyze the role of parents in the upbringing of children from the perspective of Islamic law. This study was required because children are the next generation, and the embodiment of the future, so they must be nurtured. In addition, parents should have a responsibility for the growth and development of children. A qualitative method with a phenomenological approach was used to analyze the data. Research data were obtained from informants through interview and documentation techniques, in addition to written sources from books and journal articles. The results showed that in parenting activities, parents did not only raise children but educated, guided, and protected children from childhood to adulthood in accordance with the values, norms, and culture adopted in the family and society. The choice of democratic, authoritarian, and permissive parenting in parenting activities has implications for the formation of the socio-religious spirit of children in society in a better direction. In conclusion, the role of parents in every stage and development of children is very necessary while considering the use of appropriate parenting patterns.


INTRODUCTION
The family is the smallest institution in society (Putri et al., 2019) and the first environment for children (Salieva, 2022) is believed to influence the stage of development of each child (Osher et al., 2018). This group gives birth to individuals with various forms of personality in society. The family does not only function to give birth to offspring (children) in society but includes matters of parenting.
Parenting has received a lot of research attention from various disciplines.
Many theoretical frameworks emphasize that parenting plays an important role in child development, which has sparked research investigating the impact of parenting on child development over the years (Mageau et al., 2022;Kazmerski et al., 2022;Bailey & Isogai, 2022). Every parent wants their child to be pious and educated (Sunarni, 2018).
This desire exists because children are seen as the embodiment of the future (Rosen & Suissa, 2020)and the idea that certain members of society have more of a claim to 'the future' than others has received explicit articulation from academics, political commentators and journalists. Children are often viewed as the embodiment of 'the future', with parents positioned as having unique stakes in 'the future', particularly in comparison to non-parents. Asserting one agent's rights to 'the future' inevitably undercuts another's, and marginalised groups may be held responsible for the state of 'the future' but rendered unable to speak about it. In contrast, we argue that 'the future' is not the private possession of exclusionary subject positions or reductive political imaginaries which reduce the possible to a continuation of capitalist ethnonations. Instead, we propose to understand futures as a collective intergenerational endeavour involving critical reflection on the present in order to challenge injustices in the present and enact evaluable changes. Doing so requires nothing short of a radical reimagining and remaking of childhood, (non. To make it happen, the family-based education process that children go through and receive must also be correct (Romeo et al., 2021).
A family consists of the head of the household (father/husband), housewife (mother/wife), and children. The functions and duties of a husband in the family are in accordance with his nature as a man, namely the leader of the family, while a wife in the family is in accordance with her nature as a woman, namely the leader in household affairs. Although in practice, women's duties most cases is involved leading a family (Parssinen, 2019). It means that apart from taking care of the house and children, she is also involved in earning a living.
The family environment is very influential in a child's life (Krauss et al., 2020). For this reason, the obligation of parents is not only to provide physical protection, food, and clothing to their children but also to provide emotional protection (Wilson et al., 2020)

previously in contact with Child Protection
Services (CPS and security from negative influences (Cırık et al., 2020). Likewise in Islam, the life of every living creature is guaranteed, including children.
Parents are responsible for selecting and raising children. The task of parents in addition to providing a living for children is also important, providing character education so that the child's social spirit can be formed, and religious education so that Islamic values are possessed from an early age (Ikhwan et al., 2019).
This study aimed to see the role of parents in child care in terms of Islamic law, as well as to identify implications for the formation of a socio-religious spirit. The object of this research is a Muslim family who actively cares for and involves their children in socio-religious activities. This study contributed to the discovery of the parenting patterns used by Muslim families.

RESEARCH METHODS
This research is field research carried out from November 2021 to February 2022 in Ambang II Village, East Bolaang District, Bolaang Mongondow Regency. This study involved Muslim families who actively care for and involve their children in socio-religious activities. This study uses a qualitative method with a phenomenological approach, both natural phenomena and human phenomena; characteristics, activities, changes, relationships, similarities, and differences between one phenomenon and another (Parse, 2001).
Based on the type of field research, the research data that the author uses are obtained from informants, namely Muslim families in Ambang II Village. Data collection was carried out by quoting, adapting, and analyzing using interactive analysis of interview data, representatives, and relevant literature relevant to the problems, thus reviewing and concluding were the final step in this study.
This study used data obtained from interviews as primary data, while related documents, books, and scientific articles were supporting data. The data and information collected from informants and relevant literature were processed based on qualitative research methods with several data analysis techniques. In this case, research data from informants were processed deductively by analyzing general data to arrive at specific conclusions through reasoning (analogy).
This research is structured through several steps, first to reduce data, namely to summarize, choose the main things, focus on the important things, and look for themes and patterns from the data that has been collected previously.
Then, the data were grouped to provide a clear picture for the researcher, and the data were arranged systematically. Second, data presentation was systematically compiling information to draw conclusions as a result of research.
The presentation of data was designed to make it easier for researchers to see the overall situation or certain parts of the research. The presentation of the data was done by displaying the results with all the informants obtained both from interviews and documentation. Third, drawing conclusions (verification) carried out after data analysis activities took place or have been completed. In addition, this stage must also be based on data analysis. Then, the results of the collected data were analyzed and conclusions were drawn.

THE CONCEPT OF PARENTING IN ISLAM
Parenting in Islam is known by several terms as in fiqh, namely kafalah and hadhanah. The meaning of the two terms is maintenance or nurturing.
According to Al-Zuhaili (1989:117), hadhanah is educating and parenting those who cannot be independent in dealing with their personal affairs. In line with Zuhaili, Al-Shan'ani (1960:227) said that hadhanah is nurturing someone (child) who cannot be independent, educating and caring for him to avoid everything that can damage him. Then there is also the term wali, which is used for people who take care of their children from the end of the hadhanah period until they become intelligent or until they get married (for girls) (Zein, 2004:220). Zahrah (1957: 476-477) notes several conditions that must be met by hadin or hadinah, namely: independence; baligh; sensible; proficiency in managing all children's affairs; trustworthiness (trust); not apostate; do not place children who are being cared for other than relatives because of a mahram relationship; not married to other than relatives because of the mahram relationship. One condition that is disputed by the fuqaha, namely the same religious requirements between hadin and mahdun or the conditions for being Muslim for those who will do hadhanah. The majority of fuqaha, ash-Shafi'iyah, and Hanabilah require that they must be Muslim, while some other jurists, Hanafiyah and Malikiyah do not require that, as long as the child is not mumayyiz (Zein, 2004:174).
A hadhanah right holder will lose his rights if he does certain things.
According to Malikiyah's opinion, which is mostly agreed upon by other jurists, there are four reasons, namely: First, if the caregiver travels very far or to an area that is very worried about her safety without bringing the child being cared for, so it is not possible to visit the child on that day. This was agreed upon by the other three schools of thought. Second, if the caregiver is afflicted with madness and the like. This opinion was agreed upon by Hanabilah. Third, if the caregiver shows despicable morals, pays less attention to the religious issues of the foster child, and does not provide protection to him, the benefit of the child is neglected. This is agreed by other fuqaha. Fourth, if the nanny is married to another man (Al-Zuhaili, 1989:730-731).
Concerning the hadhanah period, some fuqaha, Ahmad, and ash-Shafi'i stated, that when a child has reached the age of tamyiz, both a boy and a girl are given the choice between living with their father or mother for further care.
Because the main purpose of hadhanah is to take care of children. Meanwhile, children who are already tamyiz are more aware of their benefits. Some other scholars, Malik and Abu Hanifah agreed that the right to vote was not given to children. Both have different opinions on the solution. Abu Hanifah believes that if a child can live independently in terms of dressing, eating, and cleaning his body, then the father is more entitled to it because the father is stronger in protecting and is better able to guide the child who has reached puberty.
While Malik argues, that mothers have more rights, namely until the son enters adulthood (baligh), and until the daughter is married (Syarifuddin, 2006: 331).
Thus, the separation of the deadline for hadhanah, namely: First, from the birth of the child to mumayyiz. In that context, in general, care is given to the mother as the holder of the care for the care and education of the child as termed kafalah or hadhanah. Second, from the age of tamyiz children to adulthood. In that context, child care is left to the father as the holder of the child's guardianship (wakalah). Meanwhile, both the Marriage Law and the Compilation of Islamic Law (KHI), do not distinguish between mumayyiz and adult ages. Determining the age of mumayyiz and adult age is entirely left to the discretion of the Religious Courts. Second, it does not differentiate between hadhanah holders and wakalah duties.
Hadhanah is a form of forgiveness and control in which women are seen as more worthy or prioritized than fathers, even though the cost of hadhanah is  Zahrah (1957:479-480), there are two opinions, namely: First, the majority of fuqaha believe that the nanny of the child, both her mother and others, is not entitled to a wage because the mother already earns a living from the father if she is still officially his wife. Meanwhile, apart from the mother, she has also earned a living from the child's father. Thus, if other than the mother needs a place to stay or a helper to cook or wash, then all costs for that need must be provided. The provision of these costs is charged to the property of the foster child himself if he has assets because his maintenance is taken from his property. Hadhanah's wages include her living. However, if he does not have property, the hadhanah wages must be provided by the person who is obliged to provide a living. Father must bear it if he is still alive and economically capable. If he does not have a father or his father exists but is not able to afford it economically, then it is borne by his close relatives.
Second, Hanafiyah believes that the nanny of a child is not entitled to a hadhanah wage if she is still bound by a marital relationship as a wife or is still undergoing the iddah period, either from talak raj'i or bain. He is also not entitled to wages for breastfeeding because both are obligations set by religion.
Meanwhile, the income he received between marriage and iddah was sufficient for hadhanah expenses. Hadhanah wages are not pure rewards but are similar to breastfeeding wages for mothers as a living and living expenses. It is a right that she receives as a wife, even though she is still in the iddah period. Mothers should not receive two livelihoods from one person at a time, even though there are several different reasons. Thus, if the iddah period ends, the mother has the right to receive hadhanah wages, because the meaning of the wages has shifted to wages for the work she does. As for the caregiver other than the mother, then she has the right to receive hadhanah wages in return for the childcare work she does. The wages are not wages for breastfeeding nor are wages for a child. So, here three obligations must be distinguished, namely hadhanah wages, breastfeeding wages, and child support.  Article 156 of the KHI letters (a) and (b) have confirmed the general provisions agreed upon by the fuqaha relates to who has the right to do hadhanah on children. Letter (a) of the article states that a child who has not mumayyiz is entitled to receive gifts from his mother, while letter (b) states that a child who is already mumayyiz has the right to choose to receive gifts from his father or mother.

TYPES OF PARENTING STYLES
Steiner et al (2022) said that parenting means educating children. That means, in parenting, there is an educational process that occurs. (Ceka & Murati, 2016). While education is conscious guidance in the spiritual and physical development of students towards personality formation (Walker et al., 2014).
Lansford & Bornstein (2020) say parenting is the way parents act, interact, and guide their children, which involves many specific behaviors individually and collectively to get results. In another view, Cuellar et al (2015) say that parenting is a form of interaction between children and parents during parenting activities, which means educating, guiding, and instilling a sense of discipline, as well as protecting children to reach maturity in accordance with acceptable norms in the environment. environment and society in general.
The pattern of parenting provided by parents to children can be physical or psychological, which is reflected in every attitude, speech, behavior, and action.
Parenting pattern is the overall interaction between caregivers (parents) and children, where parents intend to stimulate their children by changing behavior, knowledge, and values that are considered the most appropriate to be applied. In general, there are several types of parenting. First, democratic parenting.
Democratic parenting is parenting that prioritizes the interests of the child but does not hesitate to control them (Damrongpanit, 2022;Istisaroh, 2020 Parents as authoritarian caregivers apply rules and notices to children that must be obeyed. According to Zurcher et al (2019) authoritarian parenting is mostly played by a man (husband). Parents do not explain to children why they must obey. Children are not given the opportunity to express their opinion about the fairness of the rules or the fairness of a rule that is applied. If children don't obey the rules, they will be punished. Authoritarian caregivers consider that punishment is an effective way to prevent future rule violations (Choi et al., 2019). In that context, authoritarian caregivers are considered role holders.
All the power is in it, and all the activities of the child are determined by them.
Children have absolutely no right to express their opinion.

Kuppens & Ceulemans (2019)two issues have largely been overlooked
in existing studies. In particular, the psychological control dimension has rarely been explicitly modelled and there is limited insight into joint parenting styles that simultaneously characterize maternal and paternal practices and their impact on child development. Using data from a sample of 600 Flemish families raising an 8-to-10 year old child, we identified naturally occurring joint parenting styles.
A cluster analysis based on two parenting dimensions (parental support and behavioral control say authoritarian parenting tends to set absolute standards that must be obeyed, usually accompanied by threats. and set a small number of behavioral expectations for their children.

PARENTING PATTERNS IN A MUSLIM FAMILY
The family is the first institution for the child, where the foundation of the child's personality is laid and transferred. Parents play a role in building a close and lasting interaction system, which is characterized by personal loyalty and affection. The role of parents is to help the mental development of children appropriately. The formation of a child's personality and activities is a child's adaptation capital to his environment and has a measurable impact on the welfare of the family as a whole.
The nuclear family is the smallest social group in a society formed by marriage. Marriage consists of husband (father) and wife (mother), and children  affairs, and force their child to obey his orders, this will hinder the perfection and personality of the child.
Marriage is a form of relationship between a man and a woman who are bound by marriage bonds according to Islamic law. Marriage provides rights and obligations, as well as physical and spiritual support. A husband should be responsible for all problems and be a good priest in the family. Meanwhile, the wife is obliged to serve her husband as well as possible with the potential given to her, not to be hurt, and to fulfill physical and spiritual needs. The way to solve problems is to give each other understanding, avoid problems, consult, and ask parents for advice.
Parents are the first role models for their children in personality development. To be a role model, from the beginning parents must set a good example, starting with themselves. The role of parents in the independence of children must be instilled from an early age. Given, that the independence of a child cannot happen by itself. Children need support such as positive attitudes from parents, and skills must be conveyed through training towards independence.
To become an independent person, a child also needs to be allowed to practice consistently. For example, doing tasks according to the stage of the child's age. Parents need not be anxious, overprotective, and overly helpful, and take over the tasks their children have to do. Because all of that can hinder the process of achieving independence in children. Independent learning opportunities can be provided by parents or the environment through the freedom and trust given to children to carry out their duties. However, the role of parents in supervising, guiding, directing, and setting an example is still very much needed. Thus, children remain in conditions or situations that do not endanger their safety. For young children, this independence exercise can be done by involving them in practical daily activities at home such as training children to take drinking water, cleaning the bedroom, preparing food, and so on.

Ambang II is one of the villages in Bolaang Timur District, Bolaang
Mongondow Regency, which consists of various ethnic groups and religions, the majority being Muslim and ethnic Mongondow. Based on the questions posed by this study, Muslim society's understanding of how to raise and educate children is different but substantially the same.
The role of parents in raising children is important in shaping the child's personality because the interaction in the child's social life starts from the way each parent is raised. The most important goal of parenting is the formation of religious children's morals. Every parent really wants their child to be a good child in his life so that he becomes a child according to what is expected. This is what parents in Ambang II Village do, one of which is through religious education. Parents realize that religious education is the most important thing in child-rearing. The reason for parents to instill religious education from an early age is so that children behave well in society, including when children are at home, at school, and in the surrounding environment. The second goal is for children to be able to live independently with a strong religious foundation.
The parenting style practiced by parents in Ambang II Village, apart from sending their children to school based on religious values. The way parents foster religious behavior varies greatly due to differences in terms of education.
Parents, apart from sending their children to educational institutions, also teach their children at home about manners and respect for others, wherever they are.
In addition, advise them to join religious organizations. So that children will understand for themselves the importance of applying religious values in society. In the field, researchers found that there are many ways that parents do to educate their children to become useful generations in the future, and so they don't fall into deviant behavior. However, there are some parents who seem indifferent, and hard in educating their children. This has to do with the level of education of parents. In the view of parents as caregivers, being harsh (authoritarian) to children will make them more obedient. In fact, this is the case where children become more disobedient. With strict parenting, children will increasingly rebel and ignore the advice of their parents.
The above findings indicate that the education level of parents greatly influences the way children behave in society. The knowledge obtained by parents in shaping the child's personality is limited due to poor parental education.
Judging from the experience of the village community, the family has a big role in shaping the child's personality because the family has a function as the first socialization place for children. In a family, the main role is played by parents.
The role of parents is quite large in raising children, apart from meeting their daily needs, they are also required to educate children so that they grow as expected. Especially for parents who have more than one child, parenting has its own challenges and usually find it difficult to control. So it takes the maximum role of parents. The majority of people find it difficult when their children have entered society, and there is an inner fear that their child will fall into bad things.
Every parent applies many strategies to educate their children. They hope to help their children to avoid negative things in society. One strategy for parents is to send their children to school. There are parents in Ambang II Village who choose their children to attend Islamic educational institutions such as madrasas, but the numbers are very small. The rest chose to attend public education institutions. This is influenced by the lack of Islamic educational institutions in this region so it is a consideration that the majority of parents prefer to send their children to public education institutions.
Basically, educating children is the duty of parents. In educating children, every parent has their own challenges. For some obedient children it may be easier to do, but not for some children who like to argue with their parents' words. often instill kindness in others and society, then we will be treated the same, wherever we are.
Through parenting, children feel many benefits from applying good religious attitudes in the community as taught by their parents, namely becoming more aware of how to live in society and religion, actively participating in community activities, and being very close to the surrounding community. will get a response from other individuals. This is also felt by the children in implementing religious behavior in Ambang II Village. Good behavior is always shown by children so that the response they get is also good. Apart from their daily activities, also when religious events are held, including at weddings and funerals, they work hand in hand to help each other. In this way, mutual respect and help emerge. Children who are actively involved in community activities feel valued and respected.
Every response expressed by the informant has something in common, because, in his own social life, loyalty is needed in social interaction. So that people can accept it well. This shows that the role of parents is significant in shaping the character of children. These characters will later be applied in their environment, both in the family environment, the Ambang II Village community, and the wider community. If children do not behave well in society, society will automatically view their parents as people who fail to educate and care for their children. In this context, parents are considered as a reflection of their children.

CONCLUSION
Parenting activities in Ambang II Village show how parents treat their children and show how they educate, guide, and protect children from childhood to adulthood by the values, norms, and culture adopted in society. In parenting, various types of parenting are used by Muslim families in managing their children, namely democratic, authoritarian, and permissive parenting. This is an effort to save the potential of children; thoughts, feelings, intentions, and works, as well as children's health. All the results from the use of parenting have implications for the formation of the socio-religious soul of each child.
The socio-religious spirit can be seen in how children are actively involved in activities in the community, both social and religious activities.